It's Friday, I'm a glass of wine in, so why not?

I feel like on this blog I share random stories (and way too much of my bitchiness), and not enough personal details... so not sure if anyone really cares, but I thought I'd do my own A-Z list that I saw over on Erin's blog. Thanks, Erin!

a. area code: I live in one of the most crowded on the planet, 310

b. bed size: Cal King with really awesome sheets - worth every penny.

c. chore(s) you hate: Cleaning the stovetop... I'm a passionate, yet somewhat messy chef.

d. dog's name: Bijou. Inspiration for my blog title.

e. essential "start of the day" item: Cheesy, yes, but a good morning kiss from my husband, K.

f. favorite color: gray, if that can be considered a color. If not, definitely black or white.

g. gold or silver: silver, siliver, silver! Goes with my platinum wedding band/engagement ring

h. height: 5'5" - as average as you can get

i. instruments you play: if it were possible to rock the violin, I used to back in the day.

j. job: Engineer in large aerospace company

k. kids: an eventuality that scares the crap outta me sometimes, but seems more palatable the older I get

l. living arrangements: best roommate ever... a courteous husband who doesn't mind doing his own laundry and the dishes, and leaves the toilet seat down.

m. mom's name: J Elizabeth. Seriously. She's the original J Lo.

n. nickname: In college my besties called me Enormous... luckily because I was skinny, and I had a good sense of humor, they got away with it.

o. overnight hospital stay: not yet!

p. pet peeve: a weird one but... I HATE seeing chewed gum out of people mouths. Like when people SAVE for later by placing it on the side of their plate/can of soda. It makes me barf.

q. quote from movie: I used to be better, but the all time favs are Home Alone and Mallrats.

r. righty or lefty: righty

s. siblings: two - 2 brothers... I'm the middle child so it works out great.

t. time you wake up: 5:14am... or 5:40 depending if I give enough of a shit to wash my hair before going into work.

u. underwear: won't leave the house without it. It's only prudent.

v. vegetables you dislike: Beets. Being force fed them as a child really has some lasting impacts.

w. ways or reasons you are late: I am that annoying person always ON TIME. Even if I try to be late, I always arrive right on time.

x. x-rays: Broke a rib doing a "sweet" jump while snowboarding.

y. yummy food you make: Um, my specialty is Beef Burgeon and an 6 cheese mac and cheese with pancetta. Sweet Christ its delicious.

z. zoo animals you like: i hate monkeys, but I suppose I can get on board with panda bears

How can people drink that crap?

I work in a busy office where coffee is drank by the gallons – meaning, people suck that stuff down like their sanity depends on it. I am a 2 cup a day tea drinker, so the coffee drinking habits of coworkers makes no difference to me. However, I do have a question that never fails to perplex me: How the fuck can people stand to stir in spoonfuls of that disgusting powdered creamer junk into their coffee on a daily basis?

With my tea, I require milk and sugar. Call me an ole fashioned English biddy, but that’s the only way I drink it. I bring in a pint of 1% milk, and try to stretch it out for as long as the expiration date will allow + 2 days. It’s a pain in the ass to remember to buy an extra pint with some regularity, but well worth it to have a naturally creamy cup of tea in the morning. Versus adding that awful gritty powdered shit (which interestingly is legally allowed to be called “creamer”) to the already battery acid –like coffee they brew here at work.

So this morning I was unexplainably REALLY looking forward to my cup of Earl Grey. More than usual, in fact. While my tea bag is steeping, I grab my pint of 1% out of the fridge and realize that it’s sell by date was April 4th. 3 days ago. Hmmm. I take a tentative sip to see if it’s salvageable, and realize that its literally like 3 hours from going completely sour. I eye the powdered creamer and think "fuck that." I’d rather have semi sour tea that put that crap anywhere near my precious cup of tea.

Guess who’s going to the store immediately after work?

My husband found a way to may a trip to the dentist romatic

So, here's another annoying story of why I heart my husband, K, so much...

Here's a little background first, pertinent to the story:
My bi-annual dentist appointment was scheduled for this afternoon. Just like every 8 year old I know (all one of them), I HATE going to the dentist. For someone who has never even been on the receiving end of a drill or a 9 inch long needle (or a bottle of vodka and pliers, or even a string and door nob, for that matter), it still freaks me out though.

It's the awful scraping of those sinister looking tools against my teeth when they remove 6 months worth of food bits and wine/tea stains. It sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard, but in surround sound contained in my head. In junction, those double-sided tools glistening with blood as the hygienist alternates between each end of the tool makes the situation that much more unpalatable. Finally, there is the indignity of the whole situation. Laying with your mouth stretched open like a dying fish, with a highly powered light shining into your mouth and up your nose for an hour can only promote self consciousness.

Back to the point of this story, though.
K knows my feelings on the dentist, of course. So, when I arrive at my appointment today, guess who meets me in the dentist parking lot with a rose and some encouraging words before my appointment?

I gotta say, after such an unexpected romantic distraction, the dentist wasn't so bad afterall...

Sometimes I loathe myself...

... for spending 2 hours of my evening catching up with the latest installment of The Housewives of NYC. And actually getting back into the story lines. And then setting my DVR to record the damn show. So I don't have to wait for the reruns to air. Christ.

Very hypocritical for someone who has no trouble lambasting all the other vapid reality shows that pollute our TVs. I know.

By the way - I'm totally on Team Bethenny. She's a bit dramatic for regular consumption, but I love her fearless spunk. I will not even comment on that horrible Kelly beyotch though. Consider me not a fan.

iPhones – Friend or Foe?

I am an old fashioned girl. In some respects, at least. My current cell phone has 3 basic functions: 1) to take/receive phone calls; 2) (clumsily) send/receive texts and 3) to make me look like a social pariah when using it in public cause I don’t have internet, email, video, apps, gps, etc.

I am on the fence about these new fangled fancy phones with their apps that give you directions, count your calories, pick a restaurant for you, do your calculus homework for you, and a whole host of other things that take the work out of living. On one hand, it would be nice to have directions at your fingertips -when K and I explore a new area of LA, we have that ultra cumbersome task of having to print off mapquest directions. Yes, people still do that. Taking the decision out of our hands for where to eat tonight might save hours of argument. Hell, I bet there’s an app for doing a recipe search and it automatically generates a shopping list for you and locates the grocery store that offers the best price on those items. I would love that.

On the other hand, are all these helpful apps really just making our life easier, or in actuality taking away our ability to put effort into something? Like, if we become accustomed to having all the answers at our fingertips, never having to really think about the where, why and how to get these answers, are we really doing ourselves a favor? Will we lose the ability to problem solve? To make our own decisions? Have the ability to read a map? Understand how to calculate a 30% off sale price? I know I sound like a curmudgeonly old bitch here, but I have always thought that sometimes the effort you put into something is just as important as the final result.

Of course, I realize I am totally generalizing – I’m sure the 90% of the people who own these kind of phones do know how to read a map, deduct 30% from the price of an item, can decide for themselves that they want to Sushi versus Italian for dinner, or look up a phone number in a phone book. I’m not advocating against technology here. I just believe that the easiest way is not always the best way.

Ok, off the soapbox for today.

At least I didn’t get into how annoying it is to have to hear people bitch and moan about being broke all the time, when they have a $100 month cell phone bill cause they NEED access to twitter, Facebook, gmail every second of the day.

Being on TV was totally worth it

Being on a game show might be something that people (I’ll call them insane people) aspire to. The thrill of rubbing elbows with people in “the biz,” getting your makeup professionally done, the green room refreshments, the bright lights, the excitement of the audience, and even the chance that you could get “discovered” would make this seem like a wonderful opportunity for some. Not for me, though!

Last fall, K and I somehow managed to get chosen to be on the Newlywed Game Show. I know, that show is still on the air? I won’t go into the mundane details of the day we filmed, but even after sitting around for 8+ hours, the filming part was actually kinda fun. Until I realized that it was going to air. To the public. Fuck.

I am one of those people who believes that they are not photogenic and sound and look terrible on camera. That’s where the problem lies – potentially thousands, I mean hundreds, of people who I don’t know are going to watch me acting and sounding like retard. Not to mention answering embarrassing questions about my sex life. K soaked up this experience, while I need an entire bottle of wine to dampen the feelings of inadequacy once it was over.

So, fast forward 2 months… we were not able to reveal the results of the show (under penalty of $100K fine) until the show aired a few months ago. I could barely watch myself act like the biggest dork ever… seriously, I was worse than I thought I’d be! K and I even managed to screw up a high five when we got an answer right, and I winked at the camera. And not a cute sexy wink, a super cheesy awful wink. Ugh.

But since it finally aired and I am happy to say that we won. That’s right, WE F-ING WON. The prize is what makes this whole experience totally worth it… a 100% all inclusive week long 2nd honeymoon to St. Lucia (yes, the same place The Bachelor was filmed, don’t remind me)! So, we managed to get our reservations for next November set today, and I’m excitedly counting down the months til we get to go… crap, 8 months to go!

Picture of beautiful St. Lucia, before it got ruined by The Bachelor

A sweet surprise... and a rough morning

Don't you hate it when you wake up still drunk from the previous night out? Me too. But, even after dealing with my drunken escapades from last night, my sweet husband surprised me with a lovely breakfast in bed this morning. It didn't eliminate the massive hangover that was a few hours from rearing its ugly head, but was a nice treat nonetheless. So, in my semi-drunken state, I happily devoured my strawberry pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

The rule in our house, if someone cooks, the other cleans up. So, after laying in bed getting more and more hungover, I decided that I should take care of the kitchen - K had taken the doggie for a run, so I thought it would be a nice surprise to have it cleaned up by the time he got back.

I don't think he could have used more dishes if he tried to make breakfast. There were literally 4 food smeared pans, multiple cutting boards, a plethora of random bowls, glasses, and other seemingly unnecessary utensils covering almost every surface in the kitchen. WTF? The man can surely cook, but is not the most efficient chef in kitchen.

I suppose I deserve it, after my drunken antics from last night though...