How can people drink that crap?

I work in a busy office where coffee is drank by the gallons – meaning, people suck that stuff down like their sanity depends on it. I am a 2 cup a day tea drinker, so the coffee drinking habits of coworkers makes no difference to me. However, I do have a question that never fails to perplex me: How the fuck can people stand to stir in spoonfuls of that disgusting powdered creamer junk into their coffee on a daily basis?

With my tea, I require milk and sugar. Call me an ole fashioned English biddy, but that’s the only way I drink it. I bring in a pint of 1% milk, and try to stretch it out for as long as the expiration date will allow + 2 days. It’s a pain in the ass to remember to buy an extra pint with some regularity, but well worth it to have a naturally creamy cup of tea in the morning. Versus adding that awful gritty powdered shit (which interestingly is legally allowed to be called “creamer”) to the already battery acid –like coffee they brew here at work.

So this morning I was unexplainably REALLY looking forward to my cup of Earl Grey. More than usual, in fact. While my tea bag is steeping, I grab my pint of 1% out of the fridge and realize that it’s sell by date was April 4th. 3 days ago. Hmmm. I take a tentative sip to see if it’s salvageable, and realize that its literally like 3 hours from going completely sour. I eye the powdered creamer and think "fuck that." I’d rather have semi sour tea that put that crap anywhere near my precious cup of tea.

Guess who’s going to the store immediately after work?

A sweet surprise... and a rough morning

Don't you hate it when you wake up still drunk from the previous night out? Me too. But, even after dealing with my drunken escapades from last night, my sweet husband surprised me with a lovely breakfast in bed this morning. It didn't eliminate the massive hangover that was a few hours from rearing its ugly head, but was a nice treat nonetheless. So, in my semi-drunken state, I happily devoured my strawberry pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

The rule in our house, if someone cooks, the other cleans up. So, after laying in bed getting more and more hungover, I decided that I should take care of the kitchen - K had taken the doggie for a run, so I thought it would be a nice surprise to have it cleaned up by the time he got back.

I don't think he could have used more dishes if he tried to make breakfast. There were literally 4 food smeared pans, multiple cutting boards, a plethora of random bowls, glasses, and other seemingly unnecessary utensils covering almost every surface in the kitchen. WTF? The man can surely cook, but is not the most efficient chef in kitchen.

I suppose I deserve it, after my drunken antics from last night though...

The Most Un-American Superbowl Food

Sushi.

Yep, that's what I'm bringing to the Superbowl party K and I are attending today.

I know, what the fuck?

As a Midwestern girl living in Cali, I fear that my family would disown me knowing that on such a day of gorging on fatty, cheesy, carb loaded food, I choose to bring raw fish. All rolled up with raw veggies.

But, I'm totally feeling the sushi today, so that's what I'm bringing. Deal with it. K, bless his heart, is totally on board, which is why he's the best husband ever.

Oh yeah, we're not going to be total dochebags - we're going to bring a 12 pack of good beer as well.

Oh, and PS - GO COLTS*!!!!

*I have been a Colts fan for years, attended at least 20 games in my life, so I'm looking forward to another Superbowl win by my hometown team. Even though I went to college with Drew Brees, I still want to see the Saints get their ass kicked.

A Foray into Baking: Flatbread from Scratch

First, I gotta say this – while I love to cook, baking is just not my forte. Sure, I can take a store bought mix, chuck in some eggs, water, and oil and come up with a fairly edible cake. I don’t really count that as baking as much as being literate and possessing the ability to follow directions.

So, oddly enough, I got inspired this weekend to try my hand at baking – like make something from scratch. With yeast. I decided to start with a baked good that I particularly enjoy – flatbread. I figured with flatbread, if it came out tasting like shit, I could always mask the taste with some gruyere cheese, roasted veggies, bacon, etc. I swear, you can put bacon and gruyere cheese on an old moldy shoe, and it still would taste killer.

Anyway. I found a simple recipe that only has like 5 ingredients, including thyme as an aromatic, and thought how hard can this be? Basically, the recipe called for all the ingredients to be thrown into a food processor, and then let it rise for an hour, and then you have flatbread dough. Next, you just have to roll out the dough as big as you want it, and then toss it on the grill (or grill pan, if cooking indoors) for a few minutes on each side and then you’re done!

I just said I grilled the flatbread. In a grill pan. On my stovetop. Shit. I just realized that by using a grill pan negates my attempt at baking. Oh hell.

It still tasted awesome though.